optimized-results.com

 

 The Owl and the Ostrich [6:42m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

The Ostrich and the Owl represent two very different approaches to life.  The ostrich is known for hiding his head when sensing trouble, much like a small child hiding his face behind his hands. The rationale being “if I can’t see you, you can’t see me.”

As we get older, we learn that doesn’t work, yet often continue to apply that philosophy to our jobs and lives.  We feel as though if we don’t look at something disturbing, it won’t get to us.  On the other hand, the owl has phenomenal sight, and rotates her head almost all the way around like a radar dish, to pick up every bit of information available.  Although she doesn’t have to act on everything she sees, no opportunity gets by her either. Read the rest of this entry »

 

 Standard Podcast [7:27m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Action Steps for Success
There are steps you can take right now, that will help you achieve success with less stress and more joy.  They don’t require any expense, and they’re within your grasp.  These four communication shifts have turned faltering companies into wildly successful ones.  Applying Conscious Communication shifts the entire culture of an organization, and brings it into the 21st Century.

1.  Start with what if questions, not decrees.
As a leader of any kind, regardless of your intentions, there will be a natural sense of resistance to virtually anything you have to say.  That’s just the way it is.  Most people are completely unaware of how much unconscious “power struggle” they’re involved in.  It’s probably leftovers from a parent/child dynamic that comes up when they feel they have less power.  Decrees feel like being told to “take out the trash,” or “clean your room.”

On the other hand, when people are asked questions that create the image of your desired outcome in their minds, they start seeing where you want to go.  Read the rest of this entry »

 

 Conscious Communication and You [10:08m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

One Root - a Million Dandelions
Conscious Communication has covered areas from the philosophical to nuts and bolts communication practices.  We’ve highlighted inroads to personal development and more effective management and leadership.  Why?  All of these areas rely on communication.  Whatever we do to improve our communication improves virtually every other area of our lives.  The more consciousness and awareness we bring to our communication, the more conscious and aware we become as people.  Again, you may ask why.  Why is this desirable?

Virtually every mistake we make in our lives and businesses can be traced back to a lack or lapse of this awareness.  On the other side, we can give credit for virtually every success Read the rest of this entry »

 

 What's Stopping You [8:36m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

The Self-Limiting Story
Many of my previous chronicles have addressed “liberation,” or a sense of freedom as a desired outcome.  “Freedom is good, lack of freedom is bad” seems to be a pretty obvious axiom.  At the very least, having more options is a better position to be in.

Yet something inside us holds back.  Read the rest of this entry »

“The Way does not require cultivation - just don’t pollute it.  What is pollution? A fluctuating mind, fabricating artificialities and contrivances.  If you want to realize the Way directly, all you need is your natural Mind.  This is the mind without artificiality, without subjective judgments, without grasping or rejection.”  - abridged from Chan Master Mazu, 12th Century.

When you remember that what you are searching for is that (who) is conducting the search, you can stop and discover what is already present; connection to Source/Being and the Real Version of what you were chasing.  For example, if I chase Read the rest of this entry »

 

 Subtext: Friend or Foe? [8:19m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

The Space Between
Implicit Confusion / Explicit Clarification explored the pitfalls of not fully and clearly expressing something; leaving nothing to interpret.  We looked at this from the speaker’s perspective, in terms of being explicit and not implying what needs to be stated clearly.  Implications are fraught with interpretation, and interpretation is fraught with our own worldviews and baggage. 

Looking at this issue from the perspective of the listener we may have far more power to keep the communication on track.  Read the rest of this entry »

 

 Implicit Confusion - Explicit Clarity [8:13m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Three Strikes and You’re Out (revisited)

Just as a quick reminder, the “Three Strikes of Communication” are Assumptions, Projections, and Avoidance.  These are the most fundamental ways we take our communication off track, and stopping them is the most foolproof way to improve your communication and your relationships.  For the most part, these Three Strikes show up as a function of the listener.  It’s the listener who makes the assumption that they understand something, that they’ve experienced what the speaker is expressing, and that there is no need to check in for clarification.  Digging a little deeper, we need to look at both the listener’s and the speaker’s contributions.  This is where implicit vs. explicit communication comes into play.

Let’s start by being really clear about our meanings here.  Read the rest of this entry »

 

 Standard Podcast [9:42m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Conscious or Unconscious, You’re Still Communicating
One of the most important premises behind Conscious Communication is that on some level, there is actually a point in our communicating.  We actually want to convey an idea or share something.  We’re not just making noises with our mouths, without a connection to some kind of outcome.  Over time, it becomes a kind of auto-pilot activity like walking, and we  really don’t think about it.  When a problem or misunderstanding comes along, it surprises us, like banging into a coffee table in the middle of the night.  Suddenly, we become very conscious of walking and we pay a lot of attention, at least until the next day when our shin isn’t hurting anymore. Read the rest of this entry »

 

 Back On Track, part II [10:00m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Adventures in the Third Dimension
In Getting Derailed Communication Back On Track, part I we introduced two different areas where our perspectives split off in different directions.  First there are the Translational differences, which are described by our “flat” model of people sitting in a circle.  We’re each seeing a different view based on where we’re sitting, which is a metaphor or model of our individual processing centers or lenses.

Remember, these processing centers - how we take in and organize information - shape our translation of the world around us.  Do I translate something as it affects who I am in the world?  Do I see it as affecting safety?  Do I translate it through how I think things should be?  Those perspectives are part of a “flat” model, because everyone is at the same general level of consciousness development.

Read the rest of this entry »

 

 Standard Podcast [08:43m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

So Many Rails, So Little Time 
A difference of opinion or argument can be healthy and productive.  When it’s more about less than conscious communication process, we get the endless tug-of-war that eats our time and energy.  Think about how much time you spent with an initial interaction that went badly, and then add the amount of time you spent thinking about it afterward, plus the follow up communication time, plus how much more time you now spend thinking about the follow up, then multiply that times how many occurrences in a day, and times everyone else spending their time and energy the same way, and you’ll see we’re talking about a vast amount of time and energy being wasted.  That’s a valuable resource we can reclaim.

There are many things we do to de-rail our communication, from assuming and projecting, to “Being Right,”  and maybe if we know more about the existing tracks, we’ll recognize the signs of going off of them before we crash.  The vast majority of the struggles we have in communication are about what I’ll call the Translation level.  Read the rest of this entry »