Conscious Communication: bringing communication up from
"auto-pilot" and reactive, to thoughtful, responsive, and above all,
intentional.
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Reframing
the Mountain
(click for
podcast
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6:31)
“The
man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.” -
Confucius
False Narratives
This is actually an incredibly important, useful observation. Most of us
know it’s true, and yet on a day to day basis, we forget. There’s
something urgent and immediate about that mountain in front of us, and
yet again, are we sure that urgency is real?
We humans tend to write elaborate narratives around things. It’s one of
the things that differentiates us from the rest of the animal kingdom.
We’re not going to find a 3-legged dog spending his life bemoaning what
he can’t do anymore, or how hard his life is. He’ll start from now and
move forward, making the most of what’s in front of him. Very smart.
These narratives create drama and excitement, and offer us explanations
of things we couldn’t possibly understand. We invent motivations for
others based on assumptions or projections, and then write narratives
based on them.
This intersects with forward momentum when we’re faced with that
metaphorical mountain of things to do, and it stops us in our tracks.
We look at the entirety of this mountain, and it seems untenable. The
stories start getting written immediately. “There’s no way. Impossible.
I don’t even know where to begin. I don’t wanna. This is stupid.”
Meanwhile, time ticks by, and we’re still staring at the mountain.
Starting the Reframe
The first thing we need to do in this
situation is recognize it for what it is. Just as we learn to recognize
cues of stress, and look at that stress, rather than just reacting, we
need to catch ourselves staring at the mountain; feeling frozen.
Once we recognize that freeze, we can start a new plan, based on being
conscious and aware. We can step back from our “actor in the world,” and
inhabit the Witness, to get a bit of objectivity.
You’d be surprised at how useful merely recognizing our being stalled
can be, when we don’t add a narrative to it about impossibility or our
own failures. This can be a cue of its own to start a new process.
This moment of awakening from the reaction lets us remember all the
lessons we’ve heard, but aren’t implementing.
What if the mountain was actually a big pile of pebbles? It still looms
in front of us as this massive amount of material, but instead of a
singular obstruction, we can see it as a collection of small, manageable
pieces. This is the beginning of the reframe that Confucius was alluding
to.
Taking Action
Now that you’re looking at this giant pile of pebbles, the
impossibility factor has been removed, and you’re ready to get started.
Even if you don’t feel like you can prioritize or make a great plan of
attack, you can get started, which will energize you, enabling you to
get some momentum started.
It takes inertia to go from standing still to movement, and that’s the
largest hurdle. Once you’re moving, momentum is much easier, as it takes
far less energy. If we’ve exhausted deadlines or dependencies as a
“filter” for prioritizing, we just need to get started somewhere.
In “Kind Ambition,” I mentioned looking for something that can be
completed in the shortest amount of time, as finishing anything gives
you an energetic and emotional boost, simultaneously reducing the
“pile.”
Past this, “carrying away” a few stones is all we need to focus on. To
give yourself a way to break up the mountain, you can make it about
time-chunking. Carry as many buckets of pebbles as you can in an hour or
a 90-minute period, and then stop. Go do something completely different
for between 15 and 30 minutes, which is like refreshing computer memory
for us. Then move another few buckets of pebbles. If you have five major
projects at the same time, just rotate through them.
I call this “Nibble and Graze,” rather than gulping. Erosion works far
better than explosive action followed by exhaustion. Many thin coats
works better than one thick coat of paint or varnish. When we marathon
our work, we get so burned out that we don’t want to do anything else
afterward, and lose many hours of productivity. Never forget that the
Grand Canyon started out as a riverbed.
If you want to reach higher
altitudes; catapulting your communication and relationship skills, give
me a call or
email me.
We can design a tailored program to fit your needs and desired outcomes.
There's no limit to how high you can fly.
- Ian J. Blei
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****************
Quick Tip:
Time-Chunking
One of the most powerful time management and productivity tips I've
discovered is the power of time-chunking. Our brains have limited
attention spans, and even the most focused of us can't go more than
60-90 minutes without our minds drifting. It's just a fact of life, and
fighting this is pointless.
Instead of fighting it, and marathoning through our work, we need to
take advantage of this seeming challenge. It's a proven fact that if we
work on something for 3 hours straight, we're less likely to want to do
anything else afterward. We're simply too brain burnt to start something
new. If we stop after 60 minutes and do something else, then go back or
work on another project for an hour, and keep this going, we could
easily increase our productive time from 3 hours up to easily 6 hours
(double!) That 6 hours of productivity may take 8 or so hours, but so
would getting half that amount done in marathon mode.
Want to learn more about how your communication can hold you back or
catapult you forward? Come visit the
web site, or better yet,
contact me and see how we can design a program to fit your needs and desired outcomes.
Sincerely,
Ian J. Blei
****************
Resource Links:
Podcasts
KG Stiles: "Conversations that Enlighten and Heal"
Ian Blei on Kind Ambition and the
Integram
(TM)
Kind
Ambition
-
2nd Edition
****************
|
Welcome to the Conscious Communication Chronicle, sharing
how Conscious
Communication results in success, and how you can
achieve yours. Enjoy!
The Optimizer
Ian Blei,
Director of the
Institute for Integral Enneagram
Studies
and
President of
Optimized Results
415.826.0478
Kind Ambition
Click
HERE
Kind Ambition:
Practical Steps
to Achieve Success
Without Losing Your Soul
Kind Ambition
Fan Page on
FACEBOOK
Kind Ambition
is
about you having the tools to slide over to the driver’s seat of your
own life. Circumstances will always be changing, seemingly
thwarting our plans, but we don’t have to be thrown around by them. You
can be in charge of your choices and actions more than you might imagine
- yet.
Kind Ambition
is written for you, as
a practical guide you can use right now. It is a collection of
insights and actions designed to help you move forward and get more out
of your life at home and at work. The chapters hold to a formula
of first giving you a new way to look at things, then offering you
tangible Action Steps to try them out, and finally some things to notice
when you do.
Kind words for “Kind Ambition”
"If you are interested in success, whether it is in
running a large organization, a small business, or leading a satisfying
life, you will find a right blend of rules, wisdom and wit in a
digestible fashion that will serve to accomplish your objectives. The
notion that kindness can be blended with ambition and made to work and
serve the "bottom line" is enlightening, uplifting and satisfying."
-Steven Kiefel – CEO, Red Pill Media
“An easy to use guide for anyone who wants to achieve
real growth and success. His sensible and practical tactics solve
age-old challenges with real, how-to solutions. Best of all, Ian lives
his work!”
-Romanus Wolter - Author: Kick Start Your
Dream Business
Success Coach Columnist: Entrepreneur Magazine
Radio Host: Syndicated Kick Start Guy Segment
" We all face obstacles in our lives and careers. Some of
these come from within, subverting our conscious intentions. The good
news is: they can be overcome. The techniques and processes found
in this book will help you on your way."
-Margaret Heffernan – Author: The Naked Truth: A Working Woman's
Manifesto on Business and What Really Matters
Syndicated Columnist: Fast
Company Magazine
“A
scientifically-based, spiritually-awake, (and smart and funny) guide to
making the most of your life. Ian Blei provides the know-how, the
inspiration, the structure and all the tools you need in this
straightforward and inspirational book.”
-Lisa Betts-LaCroix, Past President of SF Coaches
Star
of Unapix film, “Dance Me Outside”
" Ian Blei shares his deep insights in simple and
straightforward ways. His work continues to inspire me whenever I
feel I'm getting stuck in some area of my life."
-Roy King, III
,
Director Pacific
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