Communicating on Purpose
Conscious Communication: bringing communication up from "auto-pilot" and reactive, to thoughtful, responsive, and above all, intentional.
podcast version (10:00 min.) in the background while you file, exercise, ride to work, etc.
Two Professional Seminars
and Biz Networking Mixer
"Leverage the Power of YOU!" with Ian Blei
"How to Mix, Mingle, and Schmooze Your Way to More Business" with Dave Sherman
Wednesday, August 12th, 2009
Corinthian Event Center:
Gold & Silver Rooms
196 N. Third and James Streets
San Jose, CA 95112
Communicating on Purpose
(click for podcast version)
Conscious or Unconscious, You're Still Communicating
One of the most important
premises behind Conscious Communication is that on some level, there is
actually a point in our communicating. We actually want to convey
an idea or share something. We're not just making noises with our
mouths, without a connection to some kind of outcome. Over time, it
becomes a kind of auto-pilot activity like walking, and we really don't
think about it. When a problem or misunderstanding comes along, it
surprises us, like banging into a coffee table in the middle of the
night. Suddenly, we become very conscious of walking and we pay a lot of
attention, at least until the next day when our shin isn't hurting
The Push and Pull of Words
Our brains are designed to
work with a process called Quantum Computation. We process
enormous amounts of information every second, and our brains filter,
sort, and find patterns crossing seemingly unrelated areas. Language is
just one part of the puzzle. This is why we can say one thing, mean
another, and have it interpreted still another way. There are a lot of
things going on at once. Conscious Communication enables us to focus and
aim our words to be unambiguous and say what we really mean to say. This
Verbal Accuracy and obviously works well with the top layers of our
The Return of the Empty Cup
The most common
defensive verbal posture is called, “I know.” This is based on the
belief that what you don't know will hurt you, (certainly potentially
true). The problem is when we take this premise and play a little game
of “telephone” in our own heads, shifting the meaning ever so slightly
each time, and ending up far from the original statement. If the unknown
will hurt you, you're vulnerable. To not be hurt you must be
invulnerable. Thus to be invulnerable you must “know.” The equation is
set up now: knowing equals invulnerability. This becomes that verbal
posture. Even though it is usually a mostly unconscious process, the
result is people taking the position of “knowing” to feel safe, whether
they actually “know” or not. This defensive position is using a “back
off” strategy, regardless of the actual message we may have wanted to
get across, so there's a good chance we'll miss our opportunity, and the
other person will miss our point.
The Empty Cup
I've been espousing the Zen concept of the Empty Cup for years, and it figures prominently in stepping out of the simplistic defense mechanism of “knowing.” Merely by starting with the premise that “I don't know,” I am catapulted into a position of learning. I've opened the space for new information.
When your cup is empty, you can receive the tea. When your cup is already full, there is no room for you to accept something new. We become stifled and stagnant. You probably have plenty of experiences with people who “already know,” and have no great desire to bang on a locked door. Staying conscious of this you can ensure that you never become that person yourself.
Want to learn more about how your communication can hold you back or catapult you forward? Come visit the web site, or better yet, contact me and see how we can design a program to fit your needs and desired outcomes.
Conscious Communication - the podcast series
KG Stiles: "Conversations that Enlighten and Heal"Integram™
Personal Life Media - "Coaching the Life Coach:"
Interview Podcast for Evolutionary Radio w/ J. McClain2nd Edition now availableome visit the Blog.
Ever want to create
characters that were so believable, that people forgot they were
Welcome to the Conscious Communication Chronicle, sharing how Conscious Communication results in success, and how you can achieve yours. Enjoy!
also available at:
Cover to Cover
And of course
the 800 lb.
Kind Ambition is about you having the tools to slide over to the driver’s seat of your own life. Circumstances will always be changing, seemingly thwarting our plans, but we don’t have to be thrown around by them. You can be in charge of your choices and actions more than you might imagine - yet.
Kind Ambition is written for you, as a practical guide you can use right now. It is a collection of insights and actions designed to help you move forward and get more out of your life at home and at work. The chapters hold to a formula of first giving you a new way to look at things, then offering you tangible Action Steps to try them out, and finally some things to notice when you do.
Kind words for “Kind Ambition”
"If you are interested in success, whether it is in running a large organization, a small business, or leading a satisfying life, you will find a right blend of rules, wisdom and wit in a digestible fashion that will serve to accomplish your objectives. The notion that kindness can be blended with ambition and made to work and serve the "bottom line" is enlightening, uplifting and satisfying."
-Steven Kiefel – CEO, Red Pill Media
“An easy to use guide for anyone who wants to achieve real growth and success. His sensible and practical tactics solve age-old challenges with real, how-to solutions. Best of all, Ian lives his work!”
-Romanus Wolter -
Author: Kick Start Your Dream Business
" We all face obstacles in our lives and careers. Some of these come from within, subverting our conscious intentions. The good news is: they can be overcome. The techniques and processes found in this book will help you on your way."
-Margaret Heffernan – Author: The Naked Truth: A Working Woman's
Manifesto on Business and What Really Matters
Syndicated Columnist: Fast Company Magazine
“A scientifically-based, spiritually-awake, (and smart and funny) guide to making the most of your life. Ian Blei provides the know-how, the inspiration, the structure and all the tools you need in this straightforward and inspirational book.”
-Lisa Betts-LaCroix, Past
President of SF Coaches
" Ian Blei shares his deep insights in simple and straightforward ways. His work continues to inspire me whenever I feel I'm getting stuck in some area of my life."
-Roy King, III , Director Pacific Development Partners
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