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Between the Windshield and the Rearview Mirror
(click for podcast) (5:55 min.)

This concept has roots in our primal-level thinking; that of duality itself. Our present level of consciousness evolution has brought us this far, to where light and dark, yin and yang, unfolding and enfolding can be held one at a time. Sometimes, we can even hold the paradox of their simultaneous existence, but usually not for long. So how does this become a practical and useful experiment for us to learn from? First we re-phrase the question, “how can we balance the simultaneous existence of what was, and what is yet to be, without one unduly controlling the other?”

This is a balancing act that I’ve seen in client after client, and friend after friend, without a conscious plan or strategy being applied. This is where we can have a major affect on our lives, relationships, and work. Merely by looking consciously at this choice made a thousand times a day, and using a strategy aimed at our true desired outcomes, we change everything. Do you want to replicate what’s already passed? You can do that. Do you want to create your life without limitations? You can do that. Each has a strategy.



We learn from history. We learn from what happened, and then take that information forward, to help us make better choices in the future. That’s perfectly logical. The question is, where does this really help us, and can that strategy be uniformly applied? This is where it gets fuzzy. The past can’t be uniformly applied to the future, and trying to avoid the complexities of looking at new situations with fresh eyes, by using assumptions based on preconceived notions is folly at best.

This is why I use the metaphor of the Windshield and the Rearview Mirror. You need to glance at the rearview mirror, while maintaining your focus through the windshield. It’s probably best handled with at least the 80/20 rule, if not 90/10. There’s useful information in the rearview mirror, but in deciding which direction to turn the wheel, you’d better be looking at what’s coming at you. Pretending that we can predict the future by the past is wishful thinking. It’d be nice, but crystal balls don't actually work.



How many of us who behaved a certain way under a certain circumstance when we were younger were branded as being that way period? Moving forward, we were forced to overcome that rearview mirror assessment. That isn’t logical or fair because that was then and this is now. Now we can ask ourselves the hard question: have we done this with someone else?

Here are some steps to help you illuminate places of unconscious choices, and plant “red flags” or warning signs for the next time you’re in the same spot.

* Try to catch yourself “pre-judging” someone based upon past experience.

* Was the experience even with this person, or are they reminding you of it?

* If not, what makes you think this person will act like the other person?

* If the prior experience was with this person, what were the circumstances?

* Are those circumstances in effect now?

* Do you really believe that this person hasn’t grown or changed since then?

*What would happen if you talked with them about it?

*Could you express your concern, and make new agreements?

*Was the prior experience with yourself?

*Are you ready to give yourself the chance to grow, to be different, to choose an extraordinary life?

If you want to make good, clear, ethical, sustainable choices, it means that each situation really requires looking at it thoroughly, and from all angles. The windshield has a job, and so does the rearview mirror. Using each for what they do best just makes good sense.

We need to focus on the world coming at us in the windshield; only glancing at the rearview mirror now and then for validation, reinforcement, and of course to make sure we’re not about to get overtaken.

Want to learn more about how to become the best you possible? How your communication can hold you back or catapult you forward? Come visit the web site, or better yet, contact me and see how we can design a program to fit your needs and desired outcomes.

     - Ian J. Blei

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August Offer -

The second half of the year is upon us, which means a new "semester" ahead for anyone wanting to turn all those daily WTFs into "of course!" I'm going to continue offering 3 free  Discovery Sessions (first come, first served) AND rolling back tuition to 2018 levels as an incentive to invest in yourself. The ROI is incredible. And of course, feel free to check in for an informal chat. Maybe we'll light some light bulbs?

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“He combines his extensive knowledge of integral theory, the Enneagram, and neuroscience, in a seamless way (truly a Grand Unifying Theory of Everything), and helps you apply this greater understanding to whatever matters to you. He helps you build the trellis which you can hang any flower on that you choose.." - P.R., - S.F.


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The Integram - the podcast series

Kind Ambition - 3rd Edition
 

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