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Unlocking Your Superpowers
(click for podcast) (8:19 min.)

“Between life’s stimuli and our habitual responses exists choice.”  – Ken Wilber

It seems to be pretty common for people to look at “which problem to solve,” or for practitioners to pick “which problem I solve for whom.” This unfortunate simplification actually has an enormous downside that’s generally ignored. It’s very common to address what seems to be the problem.

This is the familiar issue of going after the symptoms rather than digging deeper into root causes. When someone says they’re constantly putting out fires, it’s a good indicator of symptom smashing. Two metaphors jump out at me here – clipping those bright yellow dandelions, only to see them return, and Whack-A-Mole, where you’re constantly smashing one symptom while another pops up.

Going after the root cause is the smart choice of course, but there’s another huge issue we’re still ignoring. We may in fact succeed in solving a problem, but then there’s another problem, and another problem, and another, and another. Even if we’ve truly solved one problem, we haven’t necessarily addressed our general problem-solving abilities. Time for a new metaphor.

Those who know me, know that I very often talk about the pebble vs. the ripples; as I’ve been pounding that metaphor for years. The thing is, problems, actions, words, and thoughts are all ripples emanating from the pebble, and the pebble is YOU. Working on the ripples will be a never-ending, futile chase, as they’ll continue to ripple outward in congruence with the weight, shape, and impact of the pebble. This tells us that in order to change the ripples going forward, we need to address the pebble: YOU.



Showing you how to do one thing better is not helping you to become independently capable of taking on whatever comes your way. This is unfortunately a very common approach, and we’re not seeing a tsunami of incredibly capable folks able to have this kind of universal ability. That indicates this approach isn’t really working that well.

To play with another metaphor, you’re the hub of a bicycle wheel. You have spokes going out into health, fitness, relationships, work, and more. If you work to improve one of these spokes, the others aren’t getting the benefit. This is where Integral coaching lives. Rather than working on one ripple or spoke, or having multiple practitioners for each, it’s about you being better at everything.

For that to happen, we need to back up to more of an origin point; the pebble rather than the resulting ripples. This edges into areas of psychology, philosophy, and neuroscience, which probably scares some people off. Also taking that time to not be putting out fires can be scary as well. For some reassurance, we can look at the logic of what we’d do with a flat tire on the road.

There’s no way we can fix a flat tire without actually stopping and getting out of the car. This may sound nutty, but so many people deal with driving on that flat tire, as they’re too focused on keeping going. This is similar to reaction over response. Being afraid to stop, as if that will be a terrible thing, we keep the problem alive. Stopping and changing the tire is going to get us to our destination faster and easier, and we need to think about this for ourselves as well.

When we take the time to dig in to what our resources and challenges really are, we can start to address both intentionally. The thing here is that many of us don’t actually know what those really are, so step one is going to be a deep dive into our “inventory.”

The most effective method for this in my experience is looking at our internal lenses of perception, and seeing how they determine those resources and challenges. The premise here is that you do indeed have more than one lens of perception within you, and circumstances trigger them differently.

As I’ve often described it, you see things very differently from the top of the mountain, than from when the mountain is falling down on you. You’re the same person, but your lens of perception has shifted. We have several of these lenses, and each bring different perspectives. Each perspective holds these resources and challenges like treasure chests. We’ve rarely stopped and taken the time to dig through them to see what’s inside. That’s where your superpowers live.

The same person who’s somewhat obsessive about things being done right, and has a sense of ethical righteousness and resentment also has the capacity for deep emotional authenticity. They also have great abilities in planning, organizing, helping, and synthesizing information. The same person who always sees how something won't work, who challenges, tests and questions everything also has an incredible capacity for love and presence.

When we do take this time to disassemble and study our inner workings, it’s a lot like maintaining a mechanical device. We separate the lenses, gather all the information, strengthen and polish them up, and then re-assemble.

Personally, I prefer a more organic way of looking at this. We have muscles that haven’t really gotten used, because we have other muscles currently doing the work. It isn’t that we’re “bad” at something, but simply that we haven’t exercised that hidden muscle. We need very specific, targeted exercises or practices, aimed at them, so they get stronger and catch up with our other muscles. This is how we can get several times better and stronger in every area of our lives. It’s coming from a wellness model vs. a disease model. There’s nothing “wrong” with you that needs fixing. There are only areas that haven’t gotten strengthened yet. That is incredibly do-able, and a pretty fun process as well. 


Want to learn more about how to become the best you possible? How your communication can hold you back or catapult you forward? Come visit the web site, or better yet, contact me and see how we can design a program to fit your needs and desired outcomes.

     - Ian J. Blei

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September Specials -

September is a month most known for "back to school." That's not a bad idea for us as well. Sometimes doing a bit of internal inventory can bring out some surprising resources we didn't know we had. This can take us from good to great. We can multiply our level of effectiveness and proficiency by up to 500% by taking advantage of these Superpowers. It's not about fixing this problem or that problem. It's about handling anything that gets thrown your way. Ready to take on the challenge of becoming the best you ever? click for specials



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The Integram - the podcast series

Kind Ambition - 3rd Edition
 

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